I can't believe its been almost a month since I've posted! December was a blur. Making candles, baking cookies, parties, shopping, wrapping, Santa......AAHH!! I'm glad to finally breathe. I am going to head into 2006 with a list of "To-DO's".

1. Not worry about house cleaning 24/7
2. Exercise
3. Try to quit smoking....does everybody say that?
4. Do more things with my kids and worry less about everything else.
5. Get a tattoo
6. Not stress about turning 30.
7. Decide what I'm doing with my life.

What are your New Years resolutions?

The pooch with the hairless body, crooked teeth and sparse tuft of hair atop his knobby head died Friday, just short of his 15th birthday, said his owner, Susie Lockheed.

"I don't think there'll ever be another Sam," she said, adding wryly, "Some people would think that's a good thing."

Sam became an international celebrity after winning the ugliest animal contest at the 2003 Sonoma-Marin Fair in California -- a victory he twice repeated. The purebred Chinese crested hairless made appearances on TV in Japan, radio in New Zealand and in Britain's Daily Mirror tabloid, stayed in luxury hotels and met Trump on a talk show set.

This could've been Misty or me. We had the hair brain idea of participating in the Black Friday shopping events taking place at various stores here. I went to bed at midnight and woke up at 2:30 with sinus mucus covering my entire throat and the feeling that I gargled with sandpaper. Of course I would feel this way when I have something to do. I laid in bed until 3:30 and then got in the shower. Misty showed up at 4:45am with coffee in hand :) By the way, she shows up sick as hell with Bird Flu. We get to Wal-Mart at 5:00. The place looked like New Orleans waiting for help. No, that wasn't meant to be mean, descriptive purposes only. Lines going in every which way for different crap they had on sale. Complete unorganized chaos. We needed these TV's they had. I asked 3 different associates and got 3 different answers. The third telling me that I would find the TV in the grocery section.....are you feeling the frustration yet? Well, while I'm asking this 3rd associate, Misty gets to witness a Jerry Springer episode unfolding right in front of her. This crazy ass woman is CUSSING this man (would make a sailor blush) out because he received something that shes been waiting hours for. Check out Mistys blog for a detailed story. They also had Cabbage Patch Newborn babies for $10. Misty and I look at this woman who has 15 in her cart....to put on layaway. The odds of her paying for that? Slim. So, instead of letting other people who are paying for this shit now get ONE, she decides to scarf them all in one swoop. So, we paid for everything and then had to go around back to pick up 3 TV's. She drives an Escort. Well, not really, but the cargo room is the same. Love ya Mist *smooch*. We had to make a pit stop at my house to drop off all this crap and then headed to Target. We get to Target 45 minutes late. It was complete heaven! Nice people, holiday music, angels floating in the sky, etc. We found everything we needed with no glitches or ass whoopin's. We got home by 8:30 and I started cleaning the house by 9:30. What a damn day! So are we doing this next year Misty?

I started my annual Christmas-Cookie-Making-Marathon a few days ago. I started with Dandy Candy Oatmeal Cookies. My next batch was peanut butter cookie sandwiches with milk chocolate filling. Yesterday I squeezed in a batch of Chocolate Cookies w/Chocolate Chuck Chips with Chocolate glaze. Serious DEATH BY CHOCOLATE cookies. I had 2 big Ziploc bags on my counter filled with cookies. I had to run to the credit union and the dollar store this morning and when I came back, I walked in the kitchen and an empty Ziploc bag was sitting on the floor all mangled up.....with...no...cookies...in there. WHAT THE $#@*!!!!!!!!! That frickin' dog ate my damn cookies that I slaved over? And of course chose the bag that had an assortment of cookies. But she ate ALL 3 dozen CHOCOLATE COOKIES !!!!!!!!! Surely she's gonna die. Oh wait, I forgot she's Junkyard Dog. This is the same dog that ate a tub of butter. Easter candy. Tub of cake frosting. Her guts are made of Titanium. What a way to boost that Chrostmas spirit I'm trying so hard to catch. BAH flippin' HUMBUG !

Me: " So, you got to shoot a gun at the cabin?"
Son: " Yep."
Me: " Did you shoot your beebee gun?"
Son: (very matter-of-fact)" No, I shot the 22."
Me: Speechless

Me: " Well, what are you wanting to get Lil' Kev for Christmas?"
Daughter: " Duct Tape "
Me: " Duct Tape? "
Daughter: " Yes. "
Me: " Why duct tape? "
Daughter: " So I can tape his mouth shut. He bothers me too much."

Guy: "Hi. I live around the corner and I'm on the soccer team for Emmanual something or other and I would really appreciate if you could help me with our trip to somewhere."
Guy brings out pamphlet from back pocket.
Me: " Oh golly gee, I just bought something like this from someone already."
Guy: " Well, ANY contribution you could make would be great."

Guy: " Thanks for your support and have a great day."
Me: " You, too."

Guy:" By the way, how do you get out to the main drag. If I follow this street, yadda, yadda, yadda.."

Me (thinking out loud): " You friggin' bastard. I thought you said you lived around the corner and you are asking me for directions?"